A Thank You to Therapy
On paper, I am solidly pro-therapy. I think that everyone should go to therapy at least once in their life. I think that many people are stuck in really negative cycles because they haven't sought out therapy and often continue to perpetuate harm.
I also know that therapy is inaccessible in so many ways. Culturally, therapy is not universally accepted. Often times, people can believe that you only need therapy if there is something wrong with you. It can be considered a character flaw to be in therapy. While mental health stigma has lessened around mild depression and anxiety, mental health can often still be a taboo topic. As with other chronic illnesses, mental illness often doesn't have an end date. Society doesn't handle things well that don't have an end date (looking at you COVID-19).
I'm currently on leave from my full-time job for a lot of reasons, but mainly due to mental illness. Upon finding out I'm taking a leave, a lot of people have asked me, "are you okay?" This is a complicated question to ask. On one hand, no, I'm not. If I was okay, I would just be at work. On the other hand, I'm fine. I'm writing this newsletter post. I feel pretty confident that I will survive this. But I'm also confident that I will survive this, BECAUSE I am able to take a leave from my job.
I've been really fortunate to have had access to quality healthcare my entire life. More than half of people worldwide do not have access to healthcare, and COVID-19 further illustrated that. Since I've always had healthcare, I've also had access to mental healthcare. I've had the opportunity to seek out mental health diagnosis, see therapists, and had a supportive parent in this endeavor. I've been in talk therapy for over 15 years! The past several years, I've definitely become a little jaded to it. These days I go more because I'm supposed to than because I feel a particular calling to go. I have a chemical imbalance, which causes my mental illness. I often feel like I don't have anything to talk about, and I wonder why I'm paying so much money to not process anything meaningful.
I recently started reading a self-help book, which is very out of character for me. In this book, it talks about why a lot of people seek out therapy as adults. As I've been going through this book, I'm realizing - "holy crap, therapy works!" Part of the reason that I feel like I don't have much to talk about in therapy anymore is that I've been meaningful interacting with therapy for so many years. I've never really stopped to think about what I've gotten out of therapy. In fact, I often look at my mental health through a deficit lens. However, talk therapy has given me many skills that have helped me develop into a caring, empathetic person. I've developed the ability to set boundaries with people. I've learned to be unapologetic in seeking out what I need from relationships. I have become self-assured and self-confident. I've learned to appreciate my quirks for what they are, while also tempering my expectations of others when they don't meet my expectations. Basically, every element of my life has been touched by talk therapy.
This post is somewhat of my love letter to talk therapy. Thank you for always giving me something to reflect on, a way to improve, and a reason to be better. Thank you for allowing me better insight into myself and into others. And thank you for saving my life more than once.
If you've been considering therapy or going back to therapy, let this be the final nudge. One thing the pandemic has done is made virtual therapy more readily available. A lot of therapists have been getting certified to do therapy across state lines and virtually. Psychology Today is a website that can help folks find therapists in the United States.